Tale of the Tape: Alex"A-ROD" Rodriguez vs. Jesus " You only live Twice" Christ

Rodriguez vs. Jesus - a fight we have all had our fair share of wet dreams about it. The Savior of an entire race of people vs. Jesus (aka the Hebrew Killa) The fight of the century, nay, millennium. We'd all love to see De La Hoya/Mayweather, but honestly an Alex v. Jesus matchup is far more intriguing. I'd like to take this opportunity to size these heavyweights up.

1. Age
Alex Rodriguez: 31 years young
Jesus Christ: Ageless?
Edge: Jesus

2. Credentials(S)
Alex Rodriguez: 478 Homeruns, 1381 RBIs, a 5-time Nobel Prize Winner, 2-time Oscar winner
Jesus Christ: Son of God.......Star of Passion of the Christ?
Edge: A-ROD

3. NICKNAME(S)
Alex Rodriguez: A-ROD, Alexander the Great, A-bomb, The Messiah
Jesus Christ: King of the Jews, God. Jr., The Messiah, The Great Bambino (wait no)
Edge: Jesus

4. Miracle(S)
Alex Rodriguez: Tying the Homerun record for April, Curing Polio, Killing Hitler, Being A-ROD
Jesus Christ: Raising Lazarus from the Dead, water into wine, rising from the dead
Edge: A-ROD

4. Tempted By
Alex Rodriguez: Scott Boras(The Devil)
Jesus Christ: The Devil(Scott Boras)
Edge: Even

5. Alex Rodriguez betrayed by: Derek Jeter
Jesus Christ betrayed by: Judas
Edge: A-ROD

6. Virgin?
Alex Rodriguez: God, No
Jesus Christ: I guess so
Edge: A-ROD

In a clear victory the real Messiah, A-ROD is victorious. Praise Alex!!!!!