An A-ROD drinking game

We all know we love watching our beloved savior, A-ROD, when sober, but you know whats even better.... watching him drunk! But how, you say? Well, the A-ROD drinking game is here:
Requirements:
A game in which A-ROD is playing
Some Cheap Alcohol

1.) Every time A-ROD takes a strike, take a shot

2.) Every time an announcer makes reference to A-ROD being on pace for (Fill in the blank), take a shot

3.) Every time the camera pans to A-ROD and Jeter laughing together, drink half the bottle

4.) Every time A-ROD says "I'm relaxed, I'm finally happy", take a shot

5.) Every time an announcer makes reference to this for his reason for playing well, down the bottle

6.) Every time A-ROD says he's not leaving New York at the end of the season , take a shot

7.) If A-ROD does leave at the end of the season, down the entire liquor cabinet.

8.) When he leaves at the end of the season and if he goes to the Red Sox, buy the most expensive wine you can find and drink all of it, then cry and pray.....

9.) If the Yankees create a Yankeeography of A-ROD, then air it twice in the same day, Do a line of coke