A-ROD on Current Events: Volume 1

Debuting today is a new weekly column in which the one, the only, A-ROD gives his expert opinions on Current Events. This week A-ROD covers everything from the VT shooting to Spider-Man 3 and everything in between:

Virgina Tech Shooting- "I'm relaxed and happy this season"

U.S. Policy on Iraq- "This is an embarrassment, I would have solved this in a day, too bad I don't care. Take that foreigners!!!"

Democratic National Race- "I'm relaxed and happy this season!"

NFL Draft- "I should have been the number one pick, have you not seen my high school football days at Westminster Christian High School I was just as Godly as I am today!"

French broad to become first women elected president- "I'm relaxed and happy this season"

Spider-Man 3 debuting Friday- "Analogy time: Spider-Man is to Venom as A-ROD is to Jeter.....Zing!!!!!"

Alec Baldwin curses out his own daughter- "If it were up to me kids wouldn't exist, only beautiful celebrities."